Every Sunday, she sits in the row just ahead of us, a solitary figure amidst the congregation. An elderly woman with an air of quiet grace, she is always impeccably dressed. Today, her choice is a black cardigan, its sleeves adorned with shimmering sequins.  I look down at my sweatshirt and think about how I need to dress nicer for church.  

My son reaches over, puts his hand on her shoulder, and tells her hello.  She greets me warmly, as she always does.  "He's such a sweet boy," she tells me, and she’s right. There’s kindness in her eyes, a depth that speaks of years lived.

When the music begins, she worships with her whole heart. Sometimes, tears fall down her cheeks. There’s a dignity about her, but more than anything, she radiates strength—the kind that comes from an unwavering trust in Christ.  She is somebody’s grandmother, a beloved relative, a cherished friend. 

I want to be strong like her. The kind of strength that isn’t just about endurance but about grace, resilience, and an unshakable faith. Maybe that strength is already in me, beginning to taking root. After all, I did single-handedly assemble a TV stand a few months ago with nothing but a screwdriver and sheer determination. That project tested my faith and patience in new ways.

When I look at her, I see a story, a lifetime woven into the lines on her face. She makes me look forward to the years ahead and faith that deepens with time. If growing older means becoming more like her, then I welcome it. 

Life has surely taken her down winding roads, through seasons of joy and moments of heartbreak. Yet, whatever trials she has faced, whatever burdens she has borne, gratitude stays with her.  She is a living testament to the beauty of a thankful heart.

You know, the greatest minds aren’t just deep thinkers—they’re grateful ones. Gratitude sharpens the soul, keeping it alive to the beauty of scripture and creation. I want to carry that same wide-eyed thankfulness well into my eighties, to remain fully awake to the miracles hidden in ordinary moments. 

Remaining in a mindset of gratitude is no easy feat when the world around us seems determined to spotlight the worst of everything. Negativity echoes from every direction—headlines brimming with bad news, conversations laced with complaints, and the pull of comparison that tells us, you don’t have enough, you aren’t enough.

It takes effort, an intentional shifting of perspective, to hold onto gratitude when the weight of the world begs us to focus on what’s missing, broken, or uncertain. But choosing to see the good—to recognize the hand of God—is what keeps our hearts light, our faith strong, and our joy unshaken.

Here's a few things to keep in mind to remain in a mindset of gratitude:

1.  Look for God every day.  We cannot be grateful for what we cannot see.  

Imagine stepping into Job’s life—a life of abundance, prosperity, and unwavering faith. Everything is falling into place. His fields are flourishing, his livestock multiplying, his home filled with the laughter of children. He is a man of great wealth, but more importantly, a man of deep gratitude and steadfast devotion to God. Despite his success, he remains humble, always acknowledging that his blessings come from above.

And then—disaster strikes.

Not gradually, not over the course of years, but in mere days, everything crumbles. His vast wealth vanishes as raiders plunder his livestock and servants. His home, once a place of joy, becomes a place of mourning as a fierce wind collapses the house where all his children had gathered, taking their lives in an instant. As if that weren’t enough, his own body betrays him—painful, oozing sores cover him from head to toe, leaving him in unbearable agony.

This wasn’t mere misfortune. It was a full-scale attack, orchestrated by his enemy—Satan himself. (A sobering lesson for us, too: when trials seem to pile up all at once, we must recognize the unseen battle at play.)

Yet, through it all, Job does not waver. Grief-stricken but resolute, he refuses to curse God. Instead, he clings to the truth: his enemy may be relentless, but he is already defeated. Job lifts his eyes to the heavens, not with bitterness, but with faith—because he knows the Author of his story has not abandoned him.

"I know that my Redeemer lives,
and that in the end he will stand on the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed,
yet in my flesh I will see God;
I myself will see him
with my own eyes—I, and not another.
How my heart yearns within me!" (Job 19:25-27, NIV)

Even as his world fell apart, as his body ached and his friends misunderstood him, Job clung to the certainty of who he was—a man of faith—and, more importantly, who his God was—a just and sovereign King. He did not allow his pain to cloud his vision. With every agonizing moment, with every unanswered question, Job continued to search for God, reaching out through the darkness, knowing that somewhere beyond his suffering, God was still there.

In order to remain grateful, we must first look for our Redeemer. We cannot be thankful for what we do not see. Job's gratitude was not dependent on his circumstances but on God’s goodness. Even in the midst of pain, he searched for the Lord, and in the end, he found that God had never left him. True gratitude is born from this kind of vision—not just seeing God in the blessings, but also in the trials, knowing that He is always near.

2.  Make time for gratitude.  

Isn’t it true that all our hurrying only leaves us feeling worn and weary? We rush through the days, racing to keep up, trying to outrun the clock, only to find that time isn’t what we’re losing. We’re losing ourselves.

Slowing down never killed time. It’s the frantic pace, the endless striving, that steals it from us. In the whirlwind of responsibilities and distractions, gratitude must become a priority—not an afterthought, but a steady companion. Gratitude steps into the chaos, places a gentle hand on our shoulder, and whispers, Pause. Look around. Remember what matters.  Gratitude doesn’t demand time; it gives it back—turning ordinary moments into something sacred.

Making time for gratitude isn’t just beneficial for us—it matters deeply to God. So much so that He highlights it in Scripture, showing us that thankfulness is more than a polite response; it’s a reflection of our hearts.

Now, imagine stepping into the past, standing along the rugged border between Samaria and Galilee. Tensions run high between Jews and Samaritans—two groups who would normally avoid each other at all costs. But suffering has a way of dissolving boundaries, and here, on the outskirts of society, ten lepers stand together, united by their affliction.

From a distance, they cry out to Jesus, desperate for healing, their voices raw with hope and longing. In response, Jesus doesn’t touch them or immediately cleanse them—instead, He gives them a command: “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” It’s a test of faith, a step of obedience before the miracle arrives. And so, they turn and walk away, their hearts pounding with uncertainty.

Then, as they take each step forward, something incredible happens. Their skin begins to clear. The pain fades. Fingers once lost to disease are whole again. Their healing unfolds before their eyes—not in an instant, but as they move in faith.

But only one of the ten, a Samaritan, stopped, turned back, and fell at Jesus' feet, praising God and thanking Him.

Jesus responded:
“Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” (Luke 17:17-18, NIV).

Then He told the man, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

The fact that the one who returned to give thanks was a Samaritan makes the story even more powerful. While the Jewish lepers may have gone to fulfill their religious duty by showing themselves to the priests, the Samaritan—a foreigner, an outsider—recognized something greater. He didn’t just seek cleansing; he sought the Healer. His gratitude brought him back to Jesus, where he received not just physical healing, but something even deeper—spiritual wholeness.

Gratitude doesn’t happen by accident.  It’s a deliberate choice. Life rushes forward, pulling us from one moment to the next, and it’s all too easy to accept blessings without pausing to acknowledge them. But true gratitude requires intentionality, a slowing down to recognize the hand of God in our lives.

Like the one leper who turned back while the others hurried on, choosing gratitude redirects our hearts. It shifts our focus from what we’ve received to who gave it. It keeps us anchored in God’s presence, sharpening our vision so we don’t just pass through life—we truly see His goodness woven into every moment.

Looking for more info on gratitude?  Here's a link to my free practical application worksheet.  

Yesterday morning, the alarm blared at 5:15 a.m., shattering the warmth of sleep and pulling me into the dim, early hours. I reached for my phone, squinting at the screen to check the temperature outside. Subzero. The kind of cold that stings your skin before you even step out the door and seeps in around your windows. My body craves hibernation, which I feel should be legal during winter months. Hibernation.  A political agenda I can get behind.  But, not today because meetings loomed on the horizon, and I needed to start on my morning routine.

I began my five steps, the familiar rhythm of my morning prayer, and once again, I poured out my troubles to God. The same burdens, the same worries—repeated so often that He must be tired of hearing them by now. I’m overwhelmed. I’m exhausted. My to-do list feels endless. I just want to stay in bed. But time doesn’t pause for fatigue. Whether I rise or not, the day will unfold, pressing forward with or without me. But just once, I wished He would stop time for a few hours while I hibernated.

As He always does, He reminded me that my day isn’t defined by checklists, deadlines, or the weight of my responsibilities. It’s not about how much I accomplish or how productive I appear. Each day is a gift, an opportunity to extend love, to lean on Him, and to deepen my faith. While my mind fixates on upcoming meetings and pressing tasks, He shifts my perspective.  The most meaningful moments aren’t found in the structured agenda of my day. Instead, they exist in the quiet, unplanned spaces—when I pause to listen, when I offer kindness, when I allow my faith to stretch and grow in the simple, ordinary interactions that He places before me.

Each day carries a weight of significance that extends beyond the superficial busyness of meetings and appointments. I find myself questioning how to permanently imprint this truth into my everyday thoughts. Amid the constant pull of immediacy, how can I consistently center my attention on what truly matters instead of being swept away by what is urgent?

1.  Stay rooted in the present moment. The mind prefers to race ahead, tangled in worries about the future.  When it is not racing ahead, it will drift backward, lost in shame or regret. It clings to distractions, weaving an illusion of control.  And let me tell you, I love some control, almost as much as I love Cheetos.  But, what good does it actually do?  Dissecting what was or obsessing over what could be does nothing to shape the current reality.  But the present? The here and now?  It unfolds freely,  unpredictable and uncontainable. And what the mind cannot control, it often dismisses—overlooking the beauty, the clarity, and the quiet power found in simply being.

If we really think about it, the only moment that truly matters is the present moment.  

God taught me this lesson in a way I would never forget during my marathon training a decade ago. My routine was a structured run/walk cycle—I would run for 75% of the time and walk for 25%, conditioning my body to endure the grueling distances. But as you can imagine, marathon training was exhausting. The fatigue settled deep into my muscles, pressing down on me with every step.

I quickly realized something: I didn’t have the luxury of letting my mind wander ahead to the miles still waiting for me. I was too drained to think about the next hill, the next stretch, or even the next running interval. All I could do was focus on the moment I was in—one step, one breath at a time. And in that focus, I uncovered something powerful. When I stayed present, when I kept my mind anchored to the rhythm of my current run or walk, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I had feared. I wasn’t as exhausted as I had convinced myself I was. The real battle wasn’t my physical fatigue, it was my mind’s tendency to dread what was coming next.

The moment—the very second—my thoughts drifted ahead to the next interval, the next incline, the miles still stretching out before me, a wave of overwhelm hit me like a wall. I wanted to quit. The task seemed impossible. But I learned that if I disciplined my mind to stay present, to take each moment as it came, I could keep going. And step by step, I did.

The same struggle plays out in my daily life. The moment my thoughts race ahead, toward the next appointment, the endless to-do list, the looming financial goals, or even the plans for the weekend—I can feel the weight of it all pressing down on me. It doesn’t take much for the overwhelm to creep in, making even the simplest tasks feel daunting. The pressure builds, heavy and relentless, until I find myself once again asking God, please stop time, just for a little while.  But time marches on, and I am left with a choice: drown in the weight of what’s ahead or anchor myself in the only place I truly have—the present moment and a Savior who promises to never leave my side.

2.  Ground yourself in your purpose. Pause and ask, "Does this activity align with God's calling for my life?" Without a clear sense of purpose, decisions become unsteady, dictated by shifting circumstances, external pressures, and fleeting emotions. But when your purpose is firmly rooted in God’s plan, it becomes the foundation for how you spend your time, invest your resources, and navigate each choice with intention and clarity.  If an activity doesn't align with your purpose, it carries less importance and needs to be given appropriate attention, not excessive attention.  

God’s calling for your life isn’t always a rigid path you must decipher like a puzzle or a hidden mystery waiting to be solved. Instead, His calling is rooted in something constant and unchanging. At its core, we are all called to love. We are called to forgive.  We are called to care for others with compassion and grace. We are called to stand for what's right and be set apart from the rest of the world.  The ways in which we fulfill this calling may differ—our gifts and talents shaping how we serve—but one truth remains steadfast: God’s purpose always revolves around love, peace and righteousness. Anything that pulls us away from these foundational principles leads us away from Him, because these are the very essence of His nature.

Daniel in the old testament understood his purpose with unwavering clarity. As he grew older, his wisdom and integrity elevated him to positions of great authority under multiple rulers. Yet, when a royal decree forbade prayer to anyone but the king, Daniel did not waver. He remained steadfast, kneeling in prayer three times a day, fully aware of the deadly consequences. 

This was no small sacrifice.  He wasn’t merely risking disgrace or imprisonment; he was facing the terrifying reality of being thrown into a den of ravenous lions. Choosing the easy path was well within his grasp.  He could have obeyed the king, secured his power, and lived a life of comfort. But Daniel refused. He knew his purpose was not about personal success, wealth, or influence. His loyalty belonged to God alone, and no earthly decree could shake that devotion. 

We could use a few more Daniels in the world today.

Walk the path of purpose one step at a time, trusting God to illuminate the way in small, steady increments. Rather than striving to change the world in a single day, focus on what He has placed before you, faithfully tending to the work at hand. Never allow your tasks to overshadow the One you serve, or define the purpose in your life. Martha, in her busyness, lost sight of the true purpose of the meal—it was meant to honor Jesus, not herself. Likewise, our work is not meant to glorify us but to bring honor to God. When we keep our eyes on Him, our efforts become acts of worship in line with our purpose rather than mere accomplishments.  

3. Surrender to God.  Aren’t we all works in progress, continually growing in faith? True faith is more than just belief.  It’s the deep conviction that what God has promised will come to pass, even when we cannot yet see it. Faithful people are surrendered people. They choose obedience, even when life’s demands press in on them from every side.

You know you’ve truly surrendered when you trust God to work things out instead of grasping for control—manipulating others, forcing your own plans, or struggling to orchestrate every detail. Surrender is releasing your grip, stepping back, and allowing God to move in His perfect timing. It’s realizing that you don’t always have to be in charge, because He already is. When you let go and let God work, you walk in the freedom of faith, knowing that His plans far exceed anything you could arrange on your own.

Surrender is not a passive act.  It is a battle, a fierce struggle against the deeply ingrained desires of our self-centered nature. It demands that we lay down our need for control, our impulse to defend ourselves, and our urgency to dictate the timing of our lives. You know you have truly surrendered when criticism no longer rattles you, when you feel no need to rush to your own defense, and when you find peace in God’s perfect timing rather than your own hurried expectations. Anything that vies for dominance in your heart, anything that steals your focus from Him, stands in direct opposition to a life fully surrendered. To yield to God is to loosen your grip on everything else, trusting that His way is not only better—but the only way to true freedom.

If a fully surrendered life feels like a distant goal, you’re not alone.  We’re all on this journey together. But take heart, because even the smallest seed of faith has the potential to grow into something strong and unshakable. Surrender isn’t an instant transformation; it unfolds gradually, one small act of trust at a time. Each step, no matter how small, draws you closer to a deeper reliance on God, shaping your faith into something steadfast and unwavering.

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"Welcome to Arizona," the Uber driver said as he picked me up from the airport.  

Welcome, indeed.  I was going to spend several days in Arizona for work, soaking up the warmer weather and letting my fingers and toes thaw from the winter back home. I was greeted by large cactus (cacti? cactuses?) upon exiting the airport and I snapped a picture.  The sunshine brought me so much joy that I couldn’t help but announce to anyone who would listen that I wasn’t going back home.  It was warmth to my soul.

But, as time is prone to do, it passed quickly.  Soon, the week was over and I had to go back home despite my declarations.  Stepping off the plane into the freezing temperatures was a rude awakening. Since returning home, I’ve been walking around the apartment, cranking up the thermostat and running the electric fireplace, trying to warm up from the inside out.

Back to Arizona, please.

While I was away, I put a lot of effort into defending my morning routine. It’s always tough to stick to a routine while traveling, but mine is essential for my mental health, so I worked hard (and lost some sleep) to maintain it. Although I definitely miss the warm temperatures in Arizona, I have to admit it feels good to be back to my frigid humble abode—if for no other reason than how easily my routine is falling back into place.

Do I wish the temperatures outside were in the eighties right now? Absolutely. Am I better off at home with my kids, our dog, and a case of frostbite? Yeah, probably. Home is where I belong, where God wants me to be, and where I’m needed. Sometimes, the best place for us isn't always the place we’d choose at the present moment.

Today is a cold day, and the wind is howling while the snow is falling.  The temperatures will drop into negative numbers this week.  I stayed inside today, watching travel documentaries on beach destinations, and cooking in my little apartment kitchen.  Both of my kids sat at the counter barstools and chatted away about their week.  They missed their Mom, and it felt good to be reunited with them.  It was a perfect day, even if the temperatures outside were going down instead of up, and I was grateful for it.  

I played a beautiful winter scene with piano music on the television and flipped through old church notes today.  I found a list I made a few years ago titled "What Do I Need?", written during some of the most stressful times of my life.  I had listed the following:

Reassurance

Rest

Confidence

Kindness

Calm 

Contentment

Consistency

Forgiveness

In the notes at the bottom, I wrote to myself "Notice what is not listed.  Money or health insurance."

I was in a bad place when I wrote this list.  Clearly I had far more serious concerns than the weather, and I had forgotten about when the kids and I were in need of health insurance.  That's a tough reality when you have a kid with cancer.  I'm not sure why insurance didn't make my list of "needs" other than I felt selfish asking for it, but God interceded anyway.  

I didn't want to be in that place at the time, but God used it to teach me about Him in more ways than I could imagine.  I was trying so hard not to worry, but I was terrified about my situation.  Life has changed so much since then, and God has blessed me with a wonderful job that has allowed me to provide for my family. 

The pages of my notes were wrinkled and worn and I flipped through them carefully.  I ran my fingers across writing in bold letters that said He has given us everything we need for life (2 Peter 1:1-11).  I had written another note below the bold letters that said This is a divine promise.  I am not sure that note was for me so much as it was for God, reminding Him that I needed for Him to deliver.  He promised, after all.

Have you ever been so desperate that you had to cling to God's divine promises with everything you had?  Have you ever read the Bible looking for those promises, hoping there's something in there about your situation that can offer you hope?  I sure have.  The Bible reads differently through the eyes of desperation.

One of the biggest lies from the devil during times of desperation, particularly during divorce, is to convince you that you are incapable and ineffective in your situation.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  You are capable in Christ.  God has the power to turn you into the most capable, effective, and productive person you know. 

I flipped the page and read more writings from my desperation:

"Today I will stand my ground.  I am not letting my enemy ruin my life just because I have a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety.  This is not how I am meant to live and I have a right to claim a life of peace and joy in the name of Jesus Christ.  If I stay strong, Satan will start to become afraid of me instead of me being afraid of him.  I know I have what's within me to defeat the devil but I don't know how to use it.  Teach me, God."

What a battle.  What a fight for my mind, for my peace, and for survival in my circumstances.  I know the strength in that declaration did not come from me.  Its an incredible thing to look back at your most difficult moments and see the footprints of God, carrying you through the storm.  I'm blown away by His faithfulness and His love.  He never leaves our side, not even for a moment.

As I spent more and more time with God through my storm, the way before me slowly began to open up.  Step by step, day by day, things began to get better as I depended on His mercy for my needs.  I know now this is called walking with God.  At the time, I only knew He was slowly taking my anxiety upon Himself and giving me kindness in return.  I learned God is full of compassion, gently and patiently leading me out of my nightmare.

With God, difficulties can be turned to deliverances and problems into praise.  I'm living proof of it.  The other side of my storm is as bright as the Arizona sun, but I couldn't see a ray of light at the time.    Despite my time in the Arizona sun this week, I’m reminded the greatest warmth is from the presence of a God who never leaves, who always provides, and who turns our struggles into testimonies of His love and power. 

And for that, I am forever grateful.

I’m not sure what to say or do.  I don’t want to make things worse. But I feel God is calling me to get on a plane. In moments like this, friends show up, so that’s what I’m doing. I’ll arrive a few days early to offer support, run errands, or simply be there to sit with her. I’m trusting God to guide me in doing the right things.

It brings to mind the story of Job in the scriptures. When he was enduring intense trials—grieving the loss of loved ones, suffering from illness, and in excruciating pain—his friends arrived and sat with him in silence for days. They didn’t speak because they understood that his suffering was too deep for words.

Sometimes, when words fail, simply showing up with a faithful heart is enough. God will take care of the rest. Some of my favorite Bible stories are about people who showed up, and the results were nothing short of miraculous. Answering God’s call and showing up, even when you don’t know what will happen or how He will use you, is an act of faith.

The woman with the issue of blood is one of those narratives.  For twelve years, she had endured this condition, spending all her money on doctors, but nothing helped. Desperate and terrified, she felt this was her last chance. Sometimes, desperation drives us to act boldly, and she knew that if she could just touch Jesus' clothes, she would be healed. 

She showed up just as Jesus was on His way to perform another miracle. That was fine with her—she didn’t want to stop Him or draw any attention. She wasn’t interested in making a spectacle; she just wanted to be healed. With determination, she pushed her way through the crowd, and when she was close enough, she saw her chance. As God would have it, she reached out and touched the edge of His cloak. In that moment, her suffering ended, and her life was forever changed.

The interaction stopped Jesus in his tracks.  The crowds were pressing in on Him from all sides. In fact, when Jesus turned around to look for the woman—whom He called daughter—it was difficult to spot her in the sea of people. Yet, He knew that someone had touched Him, and He was determined to find her. The disciples, however, couldn't understand why Jesus was searching for someone who had touched Him—after all, everyone was touching Him!

Even though others in the crowd were touching Him, they weren’t doing so out of faith. They were there for different reasons.  Perhaps they wanted to see if He was real, to find out if the stories were true. Some were likely hoping for a good show, as miracles can be quite entertaining.

But, she knew. She knew He was the Messiah, and she knew He could heal her. After trying everything else, she wasn’t there out of curiosity.  She was there because she desperately needed a touch from her Savior, no matter how small. Her faith drew His healing power, prompting Him to seek her out. Jesus recognized the touch of His child, the touch of a faithful woman who needed Him. He felt the healing leave His body the moment she touched His cloak.  Her deeply personal struggle required His deeply personal healing.  

The Bible records His words to her once she made herself known in the crowd. 

Mark 5:34  He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

Jesus wasn’t satisfied with a mere impersonal encounter. While touching His cloak healed her body, God’s love seeks to heal the heart and soul. He didn’t have to call her out of the crowd.  After all, He was on His way to perform an even greater miracle. But He did because He wanted her to know she was His daughter. 

He knew her name and where she was in the crowd, but He needed her to understand that she wasn’t just another face in the crowd. She was His child, His daughter. Not only did He heal her body, but He also gave her a new identity: Daughter of the King. She walked into the crowd an outcast, but left as a princess—healed in ways she hadn’t even hoped for.

Not only did Jesus give her an identity, but He did so in front of the crowd, ensuring they knew she was His daughter. Remember, a condition like hers meant she was shunned from society and considered ceremonially unclean. According to the law, she couldn’t touch anyone during her bleeding, nor for a week afterward. And since her condition had lasted for twelve years, her life was marked by shame and loneliness. But all of that changed with one encounter. In front of the crowd, her Savior declared her healed, claimed her as His daughter, and ended her suffering.

Isn't amazing to think about what God does for his daughters who show up with a faithful heart?

Abraham showed up, too. He was living a comfortable life—successful, surrounded by friends and family, much like we all hope for. Then God called him to go somewhere new, somewhere different. And here’s the kicker: God didn’t even tell him where he was going! Could you do that? I can say with confidence that I probably wouldn’t have been able to.

Abraham experienced miracle after miracle because of his obedience. In hindsight, I’m sure he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. The devil’s goal is always to derail us from God’s plans, using anything he can—fear, distraction, sin, addiction, and in Abraham’s case, even familial ties. But the act of showing up with faith, no matter how uncertain the circumstances, can lead to profound transformation.

Just as the woman with the issue of blood was healed by her bold step of faith, and just as Abraham received God’s blessings through his obedience, we too can experience the power of God's intervention when we respond to His call. It’s not always about having the right words or understanding the entire plan, but about trusting that when we show up with a faithful heart, God will take care of the rest. . 

I sat next to my friend at dinner after her husband’s funeral. We talked about everything and nothing all at once. The past few days had been a whirlwind of decisions and planning for her, and I could tell she was still in shock. At times, the conversation fell quiet, and things even got a bit awkward.  I thought of Job's friends and simply sat in silence with her.

As everyone started to leave, I said my goodbyes. I told her I loved her and that I’d do anything for her. I couldn’t think of much else to say, but after spending the past three days together, she knew my heart.

She wrapped me in a huge hug, and through her tears, she whispered, 'Thank you for being there.'

I drove away with a grateful heart.  My act of faith was small in comparison to the heroes of the Bible.  But, I was so glad I decided to listen to God and show up for my friend. We may not always know what lies ahead, but as we place our trust in God, He will guide us, heal us, and transform us into something far greater than we could imagine.

My alarm went off this morning, and I turned it off as quickly as possible.  I wanted another hour of sleep.  Two, if I'm being honest.  I'm not an early morning person and I don't think I ever will be.  I love a good sleep, so the first two hours of my mornings are the hardest part of my day.  I also wake up to fears and anxiety most mornings, and they begin speaking to me as soon as I turn off the alarm.  What if this doesn't go well at work today?  How will I handle that problem? The devil is a liar, and he begins lying to me the moment I wake up.  

For the past two years, God has been working on getting me into a better routine.  It often means I have to get up a little earlier.  Every day, I need to do some exercise, my five steps, write, and read a few pages from my book.  It sounds easy.  It should be easy, and it would probably be easy for others.  But, it is such a struggle for me to fit these things in every day.

Now, I can always find time for other things.  I stay caught up on my sports YouTube channels.  I can waste a good hour scrolling through my phone.  I find time to hit a new restaurant in my neighborhood.  Why are those things always so easy?

There comes a point where my desire to go deeper in my relationship with God requires discipline.  Going to church on Sunday is wonderful, but it doesn't require much from me.  The pastor and worship team do all of the work.  I know to grow any relationship means putting in effort and time.   I want to know God more.  I want to be near Him.  I want to be in the presence of Truth. 

Some days, I can find the time for my routine easily, particularly on the weekend  But other days, like today, require some extra discipline and an early alarm.  Do I like it?  No.  Am I glad I did it?  You bet. God is intentional with his relationship with me and I want to be intentional with my relationship with Him.

I'm working to grow a deeper relationship with God and also set some good routines.  Here's a few things I'm keeping in mind: 

1.  Routines are for us, not for God.  We are the ones needing a deeper relationship with God.  I wish I could say my desire to know God is simply due to my love for Him.  Yes, I love God deeply.  But, my story is one filled with mistakes, hurt, and failure.  I want to go deeper with God because I need Him.  Deep pain requires a deep relationship, and girl, I've got some deep pain.  My soul needs healing, and I know who my Healer is.

A few years ago, I was on vacation in Florida.  It was a hot, sunny day, and I was swimming in the ocean, enjoying myself.  I love to swim, and I particularly love being underwater while snorkeling.  It is quiet underwater, and there's an entire world to explore.  I love to see God's creativity at work.  I saw crabs, tropical fish, and plants on a glittering backdrop of white sand.  I let myself relax, float along, and explore for quite some time.  

When I finally decided to return to our spot on the beach, I swam to shore and was surprised to see how far I had drifted from our towel and umbrella. Completely lost in my underwater world, I hadn't even noticed.  It took me quite a while to walk back to our spot.  

The same is true of our spiritual life.  Life will bring suffering, pain and even distraction.  The waves are always pulling us in one direction or another.  Nothing in life is neutral, so we're always drifting somewhere.  We can choose to go deeper with God, or we can drift backwards where it is comfortable and familiar.  Going deeper requires discipline, because we often have to swim against the current instead of allowing ourselves to naturally default back to our comfort zones.  

We may even have to set an alarm at 6 a.m.

2.  A habit takes time to form.  According to Google AI, a habit takes an average of sixty-six days to form.  That's a long time!  I think it probably takes longer for me, because I am more stubborn than the average person.  When you decide to add something new to your routine, remember that perfection isn't the goal.  Life will throw you curveballs, and you may fall off schedule - but don't give up.  Instead of being hard on yourself, simply pick up where you left off and continue incorporating it into your days.   

About a year ago, I decided I needed to add exercise into my daily routine.  In my thirties, I actually ran a marathon.  But now, the only running happening was to the refrigerator and back.  I was carrying a lot of pain in my arms and shoulders from sitting at a desk all day, and I knew God was calling me to take better care of my body.  

I decided to train for a marathon again.  I had a rigorous routine, but no matter how hard I tried, I kept failing at it.  I didn't want to do the long runs.  I had no desire to plan my courses.  I failed over and over.  I was so frustrated with myself.  I had run a marathon before, so why couldn't I do it again?

I prayed for help.  God, you want me to exercise but I can't do it.  Give me the desire, Lord!  Give me the discipline!  Then, God asked me Why do you need to run a marathon?  Now, you dear reader, may have common sense and realize this is a logical question.  Also, as a side note, isn't it always interesting that God often asks us questions in response to our problems?  

It hadn't occurred to me that I could add exercise into my routine without training for a marathon.  I didn't have to shoot for the moon.  There is a happy medium between running a marathon and never getting off the couch.

I began to exercise for five minutes a day.  It may sound silly, and I questioned why I was even bothering.  What would five minutes a day do for me?  Surely I needed to work out for a minimum of thirty minutes.  Nevertheless, I found Youtube exercise videos and worked out for five minutes at a time.  Every time I would try to increase my time, I would lose my consistency.

It took several months, but soon I was doing my five minutes of exercise every day.  My back and shoulders felt better and I could feel that I was getting stronger.  I had implemented something achievable for me.  Starting with extremes is a very difficult way to implement a new routine.  Setting realistic expectations is important.     

2 Timothy 1:7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

3.  Remember your goal.  Establishing a routine is all about freedom, not restrictions.  Anything that brings us closer to God and aligns us with His will for our lives brings freedom.  It may not feel that way when the alarm goes off in the mornings, but if we are aligned with God's will in our routines, they will bring peace. 

Exercise brings me peace, as does my five-step method of prayer.  I also find peace in reading about God, and writing - my greatest joy - brings me the deepest sense of peace.  I don't understand why things that are good for us require discipline, but they do.  The flesh is at work, and it wants to stop us from living the life God has in store for us.

It's easy to see the discipline of going deeper in our relationship with God as a restriction, but in reality, true restrictions come from a lack of discipline.  When I don't exercise, I experience back and shoulder pain.  When I don't pray, my anxiety increases.  Of course, we can go overboard with our routines.  We don't all need to be in marathon training.  But, deepening our relationship with God takes effort, and it isn't always easy.

When Jesus met the woman at the well, it was during the hottest time of the day.  It was unusual for someone to be at the well at that time of the day, but she was.  Why didn't she retrieve water with the other women first thing in morning?  After five different husbands, she was ashamed to face the other women.  She knew no one would be there at the hottest time of the day.  She was living a life of restriction.  Jesus was there to free her from her life of restriction.

Our goal is to experience the freedom that occurs by deepening our relationship with God.  A little discomfort when the alarm goes off at 6 a.m. is nothing compared to the peace and joy I feel after spending time Him.

Galatians 5:1  It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

I was hurt by someone close to me this week.  It isn't anything new and if I'm being honest, it happens more than it should.  When she is triggered by something wrong in her life, she lashes out at those around her.  Especially those closest to her.  She hurts friends and family she loves, even though she honestly regrets it later.  One of those innocent bystanders close to her happens to be me. Well, I am probably best described as a bystander.  Innocent might be taking it a bit far.

We've been here before.  She says something hurtful, and I'm not one to let something hurtful go.  I respond in anger and hurt her back.  Predictably, drama ensues and the entire situation becomes exhausting.  I absolutely detest this cycle, but my temper always gets the best of me when these things happen.

Now things have changed.  I've been doing work around forgiveness and my temper, and I'm starting to react to these sorts of situations differently.  Maybe I don't need to go on the attack every time she attacks me.  Perhaps I can exhibit patience and restraint, even though she knows how to light the fuse to my red hair.  Is this even possible?  For a redhead?  God tells me it is.

How are we supposed to handle recurring hurt when it happens over and over?  What are we supposed to do about difficult relationships in the family or a work environment when we are not able to remove the person from our lives?  

The answer largely depends on the type of relationship, but here's a few thoughts around handling difficult relationships in your life that cause pain.

1. Focus on the Shield and not the Sword.  If someone is grating on your last nerve or causing your temper to flare, one option is to eat a bag of Cheetos.  However, if you do eat a bag of Cheetos, don't get the flaming hot ones.  An angry attitude plus flaming hot Cheetos is a bad combination and you don't need anymore fire in this situation.  Get the regular cheesy kind.  

Once you're done with the Cheetos, consider why this is continuing to happen.  Do you need to set some healthy boundaries?  Are you participating in this process in a way that is making it worse?   Your peace is God's gift to you.  Choose decisions that bring peace regardless of needing to prove your point.

Repetitive hurt requires a shield, not a sword.  Protecting yourself doesn't necessarily mean attacking the other person.  If you think about it, it is actually harder to protect yourself when you're on the attack.  When your focus is on offense, it is far more difficult to defend against an opponent's counterattacks.  A defense that is not able to be compromised never needs an offense anyway.  So, put away your sword, and focus on your shield.

Matthew 26:52: Put your sword back into its place. For all who take the sword will perish by the sword.

God loves you tremendously.  You are His daughter and as a result, you are royalty.  God doesn't want His daughters living a restricted life.  We are meant to be free.  Often times these situations are an attack, designed to introduce unforgiveness and anger, ensnaring us into a prison of the mind.  We need to recognize an attack from the devil when we see one.

So, how do we defend ourselves against these attacks?  Where do we find our magical shields?  At a garage sale or an antique store? 

Psalm 7:10 My shield is God Most High, who saves the upright in heart

God actually describes Himself as our shield.  This is great news, because you do not have to visit your local flea market to find yourself a shield, which could be difficult and time-consuming.  You already have One.  He is the One who protects us.  We don't have to defend ourselves in every situation because we are already protected. We have an invisible force field of love from the One who created us, protecting us on a continual basis.

But wait, there's more!   

Ephesians 6:16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one

Faith is confidence that God is who He says He is, and He will do what He says He will do.  When the Bible tells us to take up our shield of faith, we need to remind ourselves of truth.  God is who He says He is.  He will do what He says He will do.  He says He will protect me, and He will.  I don't have to defend myself anymore and I certainly don't have to attack.  I probably don't even need the Cheetos.

2. Focus on Boundaries.  Did you know the Bible has many examples of  appropriate boundaries?  Jesus showed us over and over again the need for boundaries.  Consider the amount of people He came into contact with on a daily basis.  Some were great, some were not.  Some loved Him and some wanted to use Him for their personal gain.  Either way, He always kept appropriate boundaries.

Matthew 5:37 "But let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No.' For whatever is more than these is from the evil one"

When Jesus performed miracles, He often asked the recipient to do their part.  He asked one man to take his mat and walk, another to wash his eyes in a pool, and He once asked a sick man "Do you want to get well?".  

As Jesus was pressured, He didn't hurry or become stressed.  Even when His friend Lazarus was deathly ill, Jesus took two days to arrive at Lazarus' home.  He traveled when He could and stayed focused on His purpose, not everyone else's agenda.  He didn't exist in a harried, hurried state and He never worried about whether people were upset with Him. 

He was compassionate and generous, but He didn't take on other people's problems.  He told the truth in love.  He advised His followers to sin no more, give up the money that was controlling them, and have faith like a child.  He declined His disciples' plan to make Him into a political figure.  He knew who He was, and He didn't allow Himself to be used.  When His family had motives for Him that didn't align with His purpose, He refused to see them. 

Physically, He rested and took care of his body.  He took naps, even at inopportune times.  He withdrew from crowds to spend time with His creator.  

Healthy boundaries are not selfish.  They are critical for maintaining our peace and fulfilling our purpose.  Recurring hurt requires boundaries and the type of boundary needed is dependent upon the situation.  With my situation, part of my boundary is that I am no longer allowing someone else's pain to become mine.  This person doesn't get access to me when she is hurting me.  I can control if I am drug through a cycle that I detest, not someone else.  Just as Jesus was compassionate, I can be also.  However, I don't have to allow someone to hurt me over and over.  Boundaries allow this to happen without attacking the other person.  

"When a spouse says to the alcoholic, "you need to go to AA," that is obviously not true. The addict feels no need to do that at all, and isn't. But when she says, "I am moving out and will be open to getting back together when you are getting treatment for your addiction," then all of a sudden the addict feels "I need to get some help or I am going to lose my marriage." The need has been transferred. It is the same with any kind of problematic behavior of a person who is not taking feedback and ownership. The need and drive to do something about it must be transferred to that person, and that is done through having consequences that finally make him feel the pain instead of others. When he feels the pain, he will feel the need to change...A plan that has hope is one that limits your exposure to the foolish person's issues and forces him to feel the consequences of his performance so that he might have hope of waking up and changing.”

― Henry Cloud, Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward

3. Focus on Forgiveness.  Once we've taken up our shield of faith and implemented boundaries, we don't want to allow past hurts to keep us in any sort of shackles.  Forgiveness stops past hurts from becoming future hurts.  

I had long believed I was just an angry person.  I've got red hair and with red hair comes a quick temper, I always told myself.  Perhaps to an extent, some of that is true.  I do seem to be genetically inclined to overreact to small things.  But, when my mind is always set on anger and revenge then its also focused on the hurt someone else did to me.  If we're always focused on how someone else hurt us, of course we're going to be angry.  

God's plan is to heal our hurt and restore our peace.  Anger is a byproduct of hurts that aren't healed.  You can band-aid it by rolling around thoughts of revenge in your mind, but sooner or later, the wound just continues to ooze pain until you've become someone you don't like anymore.