I woke up in the middle of the night with a start. The nightmare was recurring. I was going to lose my house, and the kids and I weren't going to have a place to live. The fear haunted me over and over, especially during the first days after my separation from my husband. I wasn't making enough money at the time to cover all of our bills. I didn't know what I was going to do.
I hit my knees in the middle of the night, for so many nights. Please, Lord. Don't let me lose our house. Please keep my home for me. I would record statements of faith, telling myself I was going to sell my house when I wanted to, not because I was losing my home.
The Lord heard my prayers. He kept me from losing my home. Every time I thought I wasn't going to be able to make the mortgage payment, somehow money would come through the door and I would be OK. God is so faithful, and his faithfulness is consistent even though we don't deserve it. Amen?
God took care of me. He will take care of you, too.
It seems that in our times of greatest need, God opens His blessings upon us. Sometimes we don't see it, because the pressure within our lives is so intense. But, in loss, God always gives us three things: faith, hope and love. All three are tremendous blessings, and I don't know what I would have done without them during the darkest times of my life.
Faith:
My son was diagnosed with a brain tumor when he was seven years old. If you follow my story, you know he recurred again when he was fifteen, and he is living a healthy life now. But, that first diagnosis was absolutely stunning to us. I was still married at the time, and we were going to Memphis for his first brain surgery. To say we were stressed was an understatement.
The day before checking into the hospital, we went to the local mall. I don't know why, but I think we needed to get out of our room and be around people a bit. We wanted to get our minds on something besides the dreaded surgical check-in that was looming ahead.
As we were walking around the mall, a stranger approached my husband. He said, "Sir, I'm sorry to intrude, but I just wanted to know if I could pray for you." The tears flowed down our faces as this man, a perfect stranger, prayed over us. He had no way of knowing our son was going in for brain surgery the next morning. As we talked to him further, we learned he was a pastor, simply following the prodding of God to approach a perfect stranger and pray for them.
In times of tremendous difficulty, God does incredible things to grow our faith. When I think of the blessings in my life, the greatest of all blessings must be the way He's grown my faith. God Himself is our blessing, and His greatest gift to us is Him. He goes out of His way to remind us He isn't going to leave our side during our darkest of times.
Hope:
God gives us hope through the expectation of eternal life with Him. There's more to life than this world, and Heaven is where we will spend eternity with our savior. No matter what we're going through, we know that all of this is temporary. I don't know about you, but I can't wait for Heaven.
I'm reading a book by Randy Alcorn called Heaven, and it is fascinating to study the subject. Belief in heaven isn't just a nice thought once in a while. It is life-sustaining. It is what gives us hope. We are destined to live in resurrected bodies on a resurrected Earth! Can you believe it? Can you even imagine it? I like to try.
We'll never be cold (my freezing feet will be no more!). We'll never be tired. I bet the food is really good. Perhaps my frizzy hair will stay under control. But, do you know the best thing of all? We will see Jesus face to face. This wonderous, amazing savior who suffered on the cross for you and I, will be in our very presence. I can only imagine my never-ending tears. How do you even begin to say thank you?
Nothing will ever compare to it. We've never experienced anything like it. Yet the bible promises it to us. We've done nothing to earn it, however it is ours through grace and faith.
Love:
God's love is not the same as earthly love. That's because His love is unconditional. He isn't going to stop speaking to you because you did something stupid, or mean, or sinful. He made you so He can love you. He made you to be in relationship with Him. Even if your stressful situation is your own doing, He isn't going anywhere. We can't truly understand this, because this type of love doesn't exist on earth.
Imagine your worst sin. Now imagine Jesus coming along with a white paintbrush, covering the dark stain that has been left by that sin. But, it doesn't come for free. For each brushstroke removing your dark stain, you hear a clanking noise. It is the hammer hitting the nail, causing agonizing pain for Him. But, he continues. He moves onto your next area of shame, eradicating the darkness. The noise is heard again, and His pain is evident. But, He knows He must endure it so he can spend eternity with you.
We don't know this kind of love.
Any God who would endure something like this does not abandon us in a time of need. He is ever-present, ever-loving, and always faithful.
John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
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