The Weakness

"Its my pain," he said.  

I could feel the intensity of it when he said it.  A friendship of many years had come to an end, and he was mourning the loss.  I didn't have the right words in the moment for my friend, but I could relate.  I wasn't mourning the loss of a friendship, but I knew the weakness he felt in his soul.

My divorce left me feeling gutted and inadequate.  I woke up every day for several years feeling completely terrible, dreading the day ahead.  The loss of close relationships can bring us into a state of absolute weakness.

Paul talked about weakness in his letters to the Corinthians (2 Cor. 12).  Perhaps you've heard this sermon before followed by the tagline: In our weakness, God's power is made perfect.  But, I don't think I ever truly understood what weakness means.  I thought it meant God would help me with my fear of public speaking, every time I needed to speak in public.  Perhaps He would help me choose healthy food when I felt like downing a bag of Cheetos.

While God will do those things (I'm not sure how he feels about Cheetos), I don't think enough emphasis is given to the true meaning of weakness.  I'm talking about when you don't know how you're going to get out of bed in the morning.  What about when you receive the phone call that says a loved one (or you) has cancer?  How about the absolute knockout punch of the death of someone close to you?

Things happen in life that are so difficult, we wonder how we'll have the strength to stand let alone breathe.  This, dear readers, is true weakness.  

How on earth could Paul want to brag about such circumstances?  I wonder what would happen if I bragged about one of my weak days.  It would look something like...Well, today I didn't want to get out of bed because I woke up angry over my divorce and my son's cancer.  I spent the next few hours thinking about everyone who had ever said anything to me that wasn't nice and determined they needed some form of revenge.  Then I ate a box of chocolates.  Later that afternoon, due to my excellent mood, I was rude to my kids and ran two red lights.  Then I swore at the people who honked at me for doing so.  God, be glorified!

But, Paul was a radical thinker.  He basically said he will boast in anything that brings him closer to Christ.  He surmised his weakness was a backdrop for God's strength. Weaknesses reveal our need for God.  Strengths reflect a reliance upon ourselves.  So, he chose to brag about his weaknesses instead of his strengths.  Weakness is our biggest strength if it leads us towards God.  Paul's motto was if God can be greater in my life, then bring on the weakness.  

Do you know what else is interesting?  Faith is strengthened during weakness.  There is something that happens when we can no longer depend on ourselves and we must rest in the power of God.  Faith is what carries us through uncertain times, and like any muscle, it is strengthened when it is used.  At a time when we are feeling most inadequate, our faith is actually growing.

We were on vacation last week in Florida.  I don't know if I've mentioned this to you, but I am afraid of sharks.  Really, I'm afraid of all large things in the ocean, but sharks are high on the list.  We went snorkeling in an area where there had been shark sightings.  Now, mind you, I am in an area that I can still stand up in the water and not be over my head.  But, I had this irrational fear that a Great White was going to appear at any minute and swallow me whole.

The first time I went into the water, I didn't stay in for very long.  I just couldn't get comfortable.  But, the next day, I realized my fears were irrational and I stayed in the water for a while longer, and I swam out a bit further.  I was gaining faith there was no Great White around the corner (and if there was, I reasoned, what a way to go!).  

By the last day I was there, I was snorkeling all of the place.  Yes, I was still afraid of a mega-shark coming for me, but I had gained trust that God was going to protect me from any ferocious ocean creatures.  

Weakness does the same thing with our faith.  At first, it is incredibly difficult to have any faith at all.  But, once we trust God in a few weak moments, our faith begins to grow.  Over time, trust in God becomes automatic, and our faith gives us more and more courage to trust God to take us further and further.  Over time, we've learned how to rest in the power of God and our faith is thriving.  

This is why Paul bragged about his weaknesses.  His weaknesses grew his faith and brought him closer to Christ.  Bragging about his strengths brought glory to him, but bragging about his weaknesses allowed the message of God to shine through his life.  

If you think about it, the same goes for us.  Its OK to share our weaknesses with others.  In fact, sharing our own weaknesses against God's strengths leads to a moment of showcasing God's glory.  Paul would rather showcase God's glory rather than his own, and if we had the same mindset, we would view our weaknesses differently.

Instead of shame, we'd simply be honest about weaknesses.  Instead of guilt, we'd rejoice in the glory of God to bring us through our problems that were too much for us.  Instead of self hatred, we'd have gratitude for a Savior that not only saves us from hell, but saves us from ourselves.  This certainly seems like a better way to live to me.

Sign me up.