To Be Well

I wanted to be well.  

I remember a few months after we'd separated, I begged God on the floor of my bedroom.  I want to be well.  Teach me.  Show me.  I can't live like this anymore.  

Months of pain, grief, anxiety, and fear were taking their toll.  The sleepless nights wouldn't let up.  The pain felt as fresh as the first day.  Nothing was getting better.  Nothing was helping.  Simply getting out of bed, showering, and eating were all I could accomplish.

Help me, I prayed over and over.  I'll do anything.

During this terrible time, I kept wondering how a normal, regular sinner like me could be transformed by Jesus Christ.  I needed victory in my life.  I needed strength beyond me.   While some of the events leading up to my divorce were beyond my control, some of my pain was also self-inflicted.  Being well meant that I had to pursue change. Change was what I desperately wanted, but how on earth could it happen?  

These were the right questions for me to be asking, even though I didn't realize it at the time.    God was using this experience, painful as it was, to grow me.  He was calling me to leave my old ways behind and explore what a deeper relationship with Him really looked like.  

If you are in this situation, first and foremost let me tell you the good news about bad seasons is they always end.  Your situation will do whatever it can to shame you into thinking you're too weak to move forward.  This is not true, and it is not the will of God.  He has plans for your life.  He wants to use you, not for who you used to be, but for who you are becoming.  If you allow Christ to use this situation to change you, it will open the doors to a whole new world.

If you will grant me the privilege to speak a few words over your future, I'd like to share a few things I'm believing for you (and me!):

You are called.  There's no question about it.  Just as the apostles were called to leave everything to follow Jesus, you are also called away from your old life (your old ways) into a new life with Him.  God is using this situation to call you into something new.  Plan B isn't meant to end your life.  Its meant to reroute it into something new with Him.  Now is the time for a fresh start!  Wouldn't it be tragic if you moved from one bad situation to another, never learning from God?  Don't fight Plan B, instead trust God with it.  Turn it into a training ground for the future, allowing it to change you for the better.  

You are convinced.  Jesus is who He says He is.  He loves you.  He died and on the third day He was resurrected.  It really happened.  The more you are convinced of His love for you, the more the Holy Spirit will make your faith bolder and bolder.  Every time you worship God, something happens to break the power of evil.  Every time you become consciously aware of God's love for you, you become a bit more secure.  Watch for God's love for you.  Look for the little things.  You'll be blown away by how He shows up in your life.  Remember, you are on the right path.  Listen more to God and less to your doubts.  

You are committed.  The disciples (except one) were committed.  They were all-in, and they didn't turn back.  This was an incredible, generous generation who took God at His word and took the gospel to the ends of the earth.  You're committed, too.  You're going to take God at His word and stop believing the lies the devil is telling you.  You're going to believe you are blessed.  You're going to be brave and do what God has called you to do.  When you decided to follow God, you began to view yourself differently.  You are not your job, your income, your relationship, or your house.  Don't believe for a second you're behind everyone else.  Your path is just different.  Today marks a new road for you, committed to following God's will.

Remember, God is a God of promises.  In today's world, no one keeps their word.  But, we have God's stability to lean on, not our own.  As long as you stay on the path God is leading you down, you will be blessed.  

Follow your road, even if its Plan B.